Twas The Night Before Christmas
by Lady Kali' Barton
Summary: MERRY HOLIDAYS TO ALL! Read, love andor hate, and review. Ratings so high cuz Quatre has a break down, poor thing. The holiday spirit has gotten to everyone EXCEPT poor Duo. Nightmares and memories torrment him, keeping the joy away from his heart.


T'was the Night Before Christmas

A Tale of Holiday Joy

By: Miztress Lady Kitsune Karma

Disclaimer: Kismet: She owns nuthin but her Endless Waltz dvd and her InuYasha t-shirt!!!

-Enter Angel, bright and cheerful with long black/red hair. Her skin is of cinnamon and her face is round with cheer. Robe and wings as white as snow, spread wide.-

The night is cold and deep. Snow is falling, and the city is bustling with holiday shoppers and merry makers. Even the war torn soldiers, newly freed from the battles not but a year ago, find it in their scarred hearts to make the season brighter. Five of these rebellious men lived together in a large five room loft apartment. They used to be superior fighters in the Eve war. And they battled in great mechas called Gundams. But the war is over now, leaving nothing but old, horrible memories that all want to forget. Those machines of destruction were annihilated after the war came to an end. Yet, though some can barely forget, others less fortunate cannot, and as a price of freedom, must now bear the wounds that the peace could not heal. This is the story of one of those men. One who's past will not let him go, till he makes the ultimate sacrifice in order to move on in his own life. And finally find joy in the world, and peace on earth.

-Exit Angel-

"Sister! Sister noooo!!!!" Duo Maxwell cried out in agony. It was a dream, the dream that had always plagued him around this time of year. It was when his old wounds would open and they would bleed him dry till it was over. In the other rooms his friends rolled over in their sleep, trying to pretend they heard nothing. Their soldier's pride and empathy knew it would be too embarrassing for them to ask Duo about his nighttime dreams, so they pretended not to take notice.

"No…no…" Duo drifted back into his dark dream state again and again without waking. It was a pattern almost every night this month. He would yell in his dreams, and then in his sleep, his chestnut bangs and long braid sticking to his sweaty muscular body. Even though he was nineteen years old, he was still as playful as a child. His daily life was filled with smiles and cheerful banter. But it was only a mask, well kept and always in place. Night was the only release of the deep darkness buried deep within. And that was the way Duo wanted it, if it was the only way.

"Morning you guys." Quatre said cheerfully over breakfast. It was his turn, unfortunately, and had made a large platter of pancakes and eggs.

Trowa nodded, Heero gave his infamous one liner, and Wufei just glowered.

'Tough crowd.' Quatre thought with a wiry smile. 'Wait…somthings missing…??' Then it hit him. It was Duo.

"You guys haven't seen Duo up? It Saturday…he's usually up at the crack of dawn to watch cartoons." Quatre was about to get out of his chair to check on him when Trowa gave him a look.

"I think Duo needs to sleep in today, Quatre. He…um…had another bad night."

Quatre's face fell. "Another nightmare?"

Wufei snorted in contempt, but his eyes gave his concern away.

"Not just one, Winner. It was all night long this time. From one evil to the next."

Heero just nodded, still eating breakfast.

"Maybe we should talk to him about it?" Quatre sighed.

But before anything could be decided, suddenly there was a door slam, and the person being spoke of emerged from the shadowy hallway. His hair was every which way, and bags hung limp, covering his eyes. He walked stiffly to the kitchen, without his usual jovial expressions.

Wufei turned away, and Heero kept eating, not looking at anyone. Quatre was very interested in his toast, and Trowa read the paper.

Duo, not noticing the odd silence, poured a cup of hot coffee, scratched his stomach through his baggy tank, and shuffled back to his room in utter quiet.

Trowa peered over the newspaper slowly, his eyebrow almost blending with this hair line.

Wufei was speechless, and even Heero was astounded. Quatre's eyes held deep worry for his melancholy comrade. If they weren't worry before, they definitively were now.

"Do you think we can do anything, Trowa?" Quatre said on edge.

Trowa was about to speak when Heero's cold, but concerned voice rang out.

"No, he must help himself. If we were to try, he would be ashamed. This is his battle, not ours."

Wufei nodded in agreement. "It might offended his honor. This is his journey alone."

Quatre looked at both of them, angry mixed with compassion. "Well, I'm sorry but I gave up that solider bullshit when the war ended. And if Duo needs a friend, I will make sure he knows he has me to talk to." He gave an intense glare to everyone except Trowa, and went to Duo's room.

He gently knocked, waiting for a response. He heard a weak 'come in', and opened the door. Duo was sitting on his bed, cupping the warm mug full of brown liquid. It was still full to the brim, not one single sip had been taken.

"Duo….I…."

Duo looked up at Quatre with his unusually somber blue violet eyes. "Hiya Quat, I wasn't too hungry. Sorry you hadta fix all that food."

Quatre just smiled. "Naw, Duo. It's fine. But…um…" Quatre hesitated. "I just want you to know that, if you need to talk to someone I'm-"

Duo cut Quatre off, a small smile painstakingly placed on his face.

"Thanks Q, but I'm alright." He gave a forced chuckle. "Too many late night snacks, that's all." But his eyes said the unspoken 'thank you for caring but I can't tell'.

Quatre gave him a nodded and a smile. "Alright, Duo. Just…know we're all here for you." And with that, he left closing the door behind him.

Once Quatre was out, he came back into the dining room. His face didn't hold arrogance anymore, but the deep worry had come back into his pale features.

Wufei was the first to speak. "So…how did it go?"

"Well, no thanks to you." Quatre said chillingly. "But, at least he knows I and you guys are here for him."

Heero muttered something under his breath, and Trowa nodded his head in admiration for his friend.

"It good to know something like that, especially around this time of year."

"You speak the truth, Winner." Wufei's expression softened for a moment, feeling the Christmas spirit run through him.

"You speak the truth."

--------

Duo sat in his room, the morning dwindling away to plae afternoon. He could hear the wind, a snow shower was approaching.

'Ha…a white Christmas. How picturesque.'

He had a flash back to his first Christmas at the Maxwell church. It had been snowing too, and Duo, Father and the rest of the children had a intense snowball fight. It would have gone on forever had not Sister Helen called them in.

-Flashback-

"Duo! Father!" Sister's cheeks were red from the howling wind.

As Duo looked at her coming towards them, he would have sworn she was a snow angel. Her habit trailed after, and the blinding whiteness of her cloak shone like angel wings. He smiled deviously, and hid behind a large oak.

Father had chosen the best hidout in the back of the church where there was a two large trees planted.

Sister Helen walked passed the tree where Duo was hiding and was heading for the second one. He saw Father poke his head out of a mound of snow, signaling to Duo to aim and fire when commanded. Father also wore a mischievous grin, snowball aimed.

"Father! Duo! Where are you?" She called out again.

Father mouthed 'Five, four, thee, two…'

"AND FIRE!!!!!" they both shouted as they pummled Sister with snowballs. But little did they know that underneath her cloak…

Sister smiled suddenly, opened her cape, and set loose billions of perfectly made snowballs.

Father and Duo yelped in surprise, and turned on their heels and ran.

"I woulda never guessed she could throw so many so fast!" Duo huffed as they ran for shelter.

"Me neither my son. Me neither." Father chuckled.

"COME BACK HERE BOYS!!" Sister yelled after them.

-End Flashback-

Tears unwillingly streamed down Duo's face. Sister face was so beautiful, and it still was the same on the day she died. Duo clutched at the cross at his neck. Grief swept over him as he thought of the joy he had on that first Christmas eve, when Sister and Father had tucked him in bed, and loved him like their own.

'They are dead because of me. Because of my foolishness. I should have stayed to protect the Church! DAMNIT!!!' He screamed in his mind.

Suddenly the walls closed in around him. He needed to get out, get away. He quickly dressed in a pair of tight black jeans and his priest collar. Quickly checking to see the coast was clear, he slipped out of his room through the hall, to the front door. Duo grabbed his jacket and jammed on his favorite black hat he had since forever. He quietly slipped out the front door, down the many flights of stairs and out into the dark, snowy night.

------------

Duo held back the tears as he sat down in the chair. A little voice in the back of his head told him to get up before it's too late, but he knew what he had to do.

'Every notch on this braid is a memory I want to forget. And if it means to cut it off, then so be it. I can't have this burden anymore.'

Duo's face remained impassive, but his insides jumped in anxiety.

The barber looked at Duo's braid, then back to the boy's cold blue eyes.

"Well kid, are you sure about this?? Even though it's just hair and all, but….it seems like you've been growing it for such a lo-"

Duo's eyes hardened.

"Listen man, I just want it to be quick and painless. And leave me some to at least wash." Duo gave the man a quick smile.

The barber took the smile as reassurance. He took out the scissors, hesitated to say something again, but was once again assured by the kid's plastered on smile.

Quick, but all but painless. Duo felt the sears cut just below his the base of his neck. And suddenly, his world felt lighter but empty. His eyes were empty for a minute or two after. The barber kept the hair in it's braid, and handed it back to Duo.

Duo, who was still numb from the loss of the heavy weight of hair, registered it blankly.

"There you go kid. And…since it's a day before Christmas, it's on da house."

"Thanks, man." Duo said dully. He got up, but he felt uncertain. IT was hard to maintain the balanced that once flowed through him so easily. He staggered out of the barbershop like a drunk. Unsteadily he when next door to the flower shop, and brought two dozen roses.

The snow was coming down in torrents now, and the wind was at a steady pitch. But that didn't deter the holiday shoppers as they happily hustled from on store to another in the big city. Lights in all colors glittered, making the snow multicolored as it fell down to the already covered grown. Duo huddled himself deeper in the little black jacket he wore, sighing at the families with children going out to see Santa Claus. A lady walked by, looking so familiar.

Duo blinked. "Sister…??" he said uncertainly. But when he got a closer look, the lady was not her.

Duo's heart was a heavy as the snow now beginging to fall fast. But soon he arrived to the destination he was looking for. Church had been finished hours ago. And not a single soul was inside. It was called the Holy Church of Angels. It was a large Baroque inspired cathedral, with main exquisite glass windows. The fist glass window over the front entrance was an angel whose skin and wings were made of the sunset, and her hand outstretched to welcome the people inside. Duo pulled the large doors open silently, and stepped inside.

The warmth reminded him of the Maxwell Church, and of Sister Helen's hugs, and the smell reminded him of Father Maxwell.

"Oh Sister…Father…please in heaven's name forgive me. The God of Death was what I became, but now I wish to be at peace and kill no more. The dead now haunt me day and night. I wish I could bring back the only things in my life I loved truly. Sister Helen, the man you knew once wants to find peace and happiness on Earth, asks forgiveness of a God who has abandon his people. Please, please, I beg of you oh God of peace. Whatever power you may posses, help me before I am too far gone!!" Duo whispered powerfully, clutching the cross instinctively.

He took of his hat, his now short hair flowing freely. The flowers and braid was clutched in his hands. He looked up at the beautiful carved man on the wall of the front of the church, his hands spread out, his face in the happiest expression. His face was mahogany, his hands of oak. But his eyes held breathtaking colored glass that changed so many colors in so many seconds it looked real. The church was decorated with poinsettias and the nativity scene was in front of the alter.

Duo had another flashback of when he was a little boy. Sister had giving him the lead role in the Christmas choir concert to sing "Oh Holy Night".

-Flashback-

"But…but Sister!!" Duo whined. "I can't sing a solo! What if they think I'm awful and throw garbage up at me?" Duo pouted.

Sister just smiled her patience smile, and told Duo to sit next to her on the piano chair. Duo walked from the alter steps to the chapel where the piano was.

"Duo, God gave you a beautiful sing voice. And you should repay him by singing this song for him."

Duo cocked his had to one side. "But what will I get in return?" he asked bluntly.

Sister looked at Duo with mild surprise. "Duo, when you do something for God, it's the thought that counts. Not what you'll get in return."

Duo's little face lightened. "Oooh it's one of those 'give and you get more if you don't expect anything in return' kinda things?"

"Oh Duo…" Sister Helen chuckled and sighed. "Now will you sing the solo?"

"Yea…if you and God think I sing good, then I don't care if anyone says otherwise." Duo stated while puffing out his chest and giving her a lopsided grin.

"You are such a mystery…a good one, but a mystery none the same."

-End Flashback-

Duo's eyes filled with tears. He had song Sister's song for the concert and everyone had loved it. Sister even had tears in her eyes and hugged him behind the curtain.

'I'll sing it once more, for you sister. Because I want to, and don't expect anything back. But just for you.'

Duo took a deep breath, remembering all the words vividly as if it was just yesterday he had memorized them. His hat was in one hand, the braid and flowers in another.

Slowly the words flowed from his soul…pouring out for the ones he loved and lost…

O holy night….

The stars are brightly shining….

It is the night

Of our dear Savior's birth

Long lay the world….

In sin and error pining

Till he appear'd… and the soul felt His worth…

A thrill of hope…

The weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks…

A new and glorious morn!

Fall… on your knees….

Oh hear….the angel voices…

Oh night… divine,

Oh night… when Christ was born…

Oh night… divine…

Oh night… Oh night divine…

Duo moved forward up the aisle, singing softly yet passionately, becoming closer and closer to the alter.

Chains shall He break…

For the slave is our brother…

And in His name…

All oppression shall cease…

Sweet hymns of joy

In grateful chorus raise we….

Let all… within… us praise His holy name

Christ…. is the Lord,

Let ever… ever… praise Thee

Noël… Noël

Oh night… Oh night divine,

Duo walked up the alter steps, laying down gently his once beloved braid and thebreathtaking red roses at the base of the nativity scene. He genuflected, then falling to both knees. Tears streamed down his rosy face, his hair flowing downwards, and his still long bangs plaster to his face by wetness. Then, in a motion filled with such blazing emotions, grief, sorrow, rage, and love all balled into one, he flung his head back and rang out the rest of the song.

Noël, Noël…..

Oh night….

Oh night divine….

Noël….

Noël…………..

Oh… Oh night…

Oh night divine……….

Duo's last note hung harmoniously in the air, as he began to stand. But, suddenly there was a draft. He looked down the aisle, and saw something approach him. She the most lovely thing he had seen in his entire life. And the smile that graced her face made him forget all pain and suffering.

"Hello Duo." the creature said in musical tones. It had humanly features, a head and a body of a gorgeous young woman. Copper was it's skin and amber was its eyes. Wings of gold covered her whole back. But it was not her magnificence but the pure love that emanated from every fiber of her being that made Duo weak in the knees.

"Are you...are you..?" Duo was struck with such awe he could not even speak straight.

But the ageless being gave him a gentle look of understanding. "Yes I am an angel. Your guardian angel to be exact." The angel smiled warmly. "Even those who do not think they are worthy have one too."

Duo then was struck by a memory. It was way before he was born, and how he knew was uncertain, but he remembered seeing her face.

"My…what?"

She laughed, and more music and warmth filled the air. She beckoned for him to come to her.

Duo heeded her, and walked with her. She held his hand, and they walked into a blue haze.

"Dear Duo," she said sweetly. "Did you think that you would forget if you cut off your beloved braid?"

Duo looked at her, blue-violet eyes full of honesty. "Yes, but how could I go on living in such pain? Life hurt too much, and the more I suppressed the pain, the more it grew till it consumed me."

Suddenly misty clouds filled the air, and the angel gently pulled him into the thickness.

Then clouds began to part, and the sky came into view. Duo's eyes opened wide in wonder, looking at the clear sky with all the stars shining bright.

"Where…are we?" He asked in amazement.

She glided across the clouds and turned gracefully. "In the world between heaven and Earth. This, is where the dead can met the living." A mysterious look came over her features.

Duo's eyes lit up again. "Where the dead can meet the living?"

The angel nodded. "Yes…."

And suddenly, the people he thought he'd never seen till death, and maybe not eventhen, appeared.

"Sister…Father……" His breath left him.

Sister Helen was more beautiful than he remembered, her golden hair flowing lightly in the gentle breezy. And Father Maxwell looked youthful, but so wise.

Duo ran to both, and hugged them till he thought he would never let go. Sister kissed his forehead and Father rubbed his head.

"Well my boy, you have grown so." Father Maxell had to look up a little to look directly into Duo's eyes.

Sister just smiled for a minute, "Oh Duo, you cut your hair! And I heard you sing. Marvelous my dear boy." But her face saddened.

"But so much grief in you. Duo please," she grabbed his hands. "Do not morn our deaths for the rest of your life."

Father gave him a stern but kind look. "Duo, it was our time to go. And though I wish I could have stayed to watch you grow up, God called me back to his side. Where I can watch you better." He smiled slightly and pinched his cheek.

"But why!? Why you! If I had only-"

Sister interjected, "Then you would have died too. And all the wonderfully things you have created for you and the generations to come….would have gone to your grave."

Duo shook his head angrily, not knowing what to do. "I had rather died then to leave with the voices and nightmare of war! I have no peace….no peace…." His voice lowered, and fought the tears that already had been shed too many time today for his comfort.

Sister lifted his chin. "Duo, just like you fought for peace, now you must build it."

"Build it? But…but how?"

Father shook his head, "We cannot tell you that, but we can only give you one hint. Make yourself open, and look for love around you in your friends. They are the true key to pease...andfamily."

Sister Helen kissed his cheek, and Father shook his hand. Then,just as quickly as they came,were gone.

Duo smiled and waved as they disappear. A feeling of happiness and melancholy swept over him, but the happiness prevailed in the end. He ran a hand through his short locks.

"I guess I gotta grow a new braid."

The angel smiled. "Yes, and it will take time, but with love and persistence, it will be long again very soon."

The angel kissed his forehead. Duo hugged her, and the bond tightened between them.

"I will always love you and watch over you."

Duo gave her his million watt smile. "I wouldn't have it any other way, babe."

"Ah that's the Duo I know." She smiled back. "Now go,go to your friends.Build the peace you weremade to fulfill."

The world went black.

----------

Duo was standing at the doorway to the loft, contemplating. He knew they would freak when they saw no braid, but there was no way around it.

'Ah what the hell…might as well get it over with.'

And with that thought he walked into the door, the warmth of it never feeling any better.

He looked around the living room to see everyone sitting there. Relena had come over to chill with Heero, Quatre and Trowa were playing chess and even Wufei was sitting in a chair with a book.

Duo bounced in, slightly tripping, unused to the loss ofweightfrom the braid.

"Hi dudes and dudette!"

Everyone looked up quickly, said hi, and went back to what he or she was doing.

Duo nearly face faulted. He took of his jacket, then his hat, hung it up and walked over to mess with Wufei.

"Hey Wufei," He said in the most innocent voice. "Watcha reading?"

Wufei didn't even look up. "If you don't get away from me I will cut of your braid."

"Are you sure about that?"

Wufei looked up, "What are you talking….about-?" The words stopped flowing. His mouth fell. "WHERE'S YOUR BRAID!"

The whole world stopped turning. Everyone looked at Duo.

And the absence of the missing braid.

EVERYONE: "OH HOLY SHIT! WHERE'S THE BRAID!"

Duo cracked up at all of their faces, "Merry Christmas, and God bless us everyone!!!"

----The End---

Lady KK: -drinking eggnog- REVIEW OR ELSE SANTA CLAUS WON'T BRING YOU ANY PRESENTS!!

Duo: -flinging his hair- You know, I think I like this shot hair thing better than the braid...

Duo Fan Girls: -screaming- NOOOO DUO!! WE'D DIE IF YOU GOT RID OF THE BRAID!!

Lady KK: You know they're right...-sighs and uses Authoress powers to make Duo's braid come back-

Duo: -kisses braid- DON'T EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Did you miss daddy??

Lady KK: -sweatdrops- Hm...yea....REVIEW OR ALL YOU'LL GET FOR XMAS IS COAL FROM SANTA...and trust me...he knows if you don't review!

HAPPY HOILDAYS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GREAT FANFIC!!!


End file.
